Curse Light Footed Elves
by ksha2222 aGoddess on her knees
Summary: (ksha2222's Short Funny Reads)It’s not nice to flaunt powers- especially to miserable, cold, wet, and, hungry people.(Warning Legolas bashing!Just remember its all in good fun!)
1. Part One: The Snow

Curse Light Footed Elves  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
'Dame It! Not again!' Thought Frodo angrily.  
  
The whole Fellowship but *one* stood waist-high/knee-high in cold wet snow. Miserably watching their cause of agitation Skip, Hop, and Dance around them gleefully. Giggling madly as they preformed their solo dance in the frigid air.  
  
The group's expressions darkened further as the damp wind picked up and still one remained happily snow free. Frodo scowled and finally snapped-  
  
"THAT'S IT LEGOLAS! GET DOWN HERE AND BE MISERABLE LIKE THE REST OF US!!!" Yelled Frodo. He was immediately backed-up by the other angry watchers.  
  
Legolas pouted for a minute and let his weight settle un-elfishly on the snow. As soon Legolas let go of his Elvin powers he sadly sunk knee-high in freezing snow.  
  
"Better" sighed eight other voices.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N: Hey! For those of you who don't know that in the LOTR books elves have un-natural light footed feet. So they can walk on snow, still water, and, tight ropes with no trouble. 'Light as a feather' has new meaning^^ PLEASE R/R! AND DON'T FLAME!!)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the People, Places, and, Things. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
Love:  
  
Ksha2222  
  
(P.S. I'm writing the first chapter to my first real LOTR fanfic! Please look out for it! Title: Hope Of Snow Falling. It's a Frodo romance!) 


	2. Part Two: The Tightrope Bridge

(Written for poplar demand. Please R/R and demand more^^)  
  
Part Two: The Tightrope Bridge  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"What do you mean we have to cross that?!" cried Pippin in shock. He wasn't the only one weary of the single rope bridge spanning the wide gap separating them from Lothlorien.  
  
"I'm afraid so." Said Aragron.  
  
Everyone and the group looked displeased with it. All but one-  
  
"Well its nothing to me! Being naturally gifted with the grace of my Elvin ancestors." Gloated Legolas as he stepped onto the tightrope un-afraid.  
  
Expressions darkened with annoyance when he walked half way with the ease he would if he were on the ground.  
  
"What's the matter? Scared?!" teased Legolas laughing.  
  
Looks of annoyance turned into looks of murder. Legolas saw but wasn't fazed. He should be safe out of their reach- shouldn't he? He couldn't help himself not to tease more. Making faces at them in childish glee he didn't see what was coming.  
  
WHAP!  
  
He was hit right between his eyes by a small stone. Losing his balance he fell form high above into the river *far* below.  
  
"Nice shoot Aragron"  
  
"Thank you Frodo"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Do you suppose he's okay?"  
  
"Who cares Sam?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N: Hey! For those of you who don't know that in the LOTR books elves have un-natural light footed feet. Well its natural to them^^ But they don't exist anyway. They can walk on snow, still water, and, tightropes with no trouble. 'Light as a feather' has new meaning^^ PLEASE R/R! AND DON'T FLAME!!)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the People, Places, and, Things. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
Love:  
  
Ksha2222  
  
(P.S. I'm writing the first chapter to my first real LOTR fanfic! Please look out for it! Title: Hope Of Snow Falling. It's a Frodo romance!) 


	3. Part Three: Save The Trees!

Part Three: Save The Trees!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A couple hours later the rest of the fellowship had set up camp in Lothlorien and started a fire.  
  
"I'm hungry Merry!" whined Pippin.  
  
"I know Pippin but we don't have much food left and we have to save it," sighed Merry.  
  
"Come on boys- cheer up. We can get more supplies once we reach the next town. Since our only good hunter fell to his death" Said Aragron.  
  
"Who would have ever thought Legolas had a use?" said Frodo.  
  
"Yah. Now I wish we weren't so mean to him." Said Merry.  
  
"Do you mean it!" cried a voice happily.  
  
Everyone wiped around to see a dripping wet Legolas holding a fish.  
  
"LEGOLAS!!!" Everybody yelled in surprise. Legolas glomped Merry joyfully.  
  
"Acck! I TAKE IT BACK! GET OFF!" Cried Merry struggling. Legolas pouted and set him down.  
  
"You guys don't love me any more-" said Legolas crying.  
  
"We never loved you!." growled Frodo.  
  
"Oh! Alright! It shouldn't matter then!" said Legolas smiling again.  
  
"Bugger-off." Muttered Merry.  
  
"I brought you guys a fish!" said Legolas helpfully. Merry grab the fish from his hand with joy.  
  
"Food!" said Pippin.  
  
"Lets cook it!" said Merry.  
  
Bringing out a frying pan the put the fish in it and set it on the fire.  
  
"We need more wood." Observed Aragron.  
  
"I'll get it!" said Pippin picking up an axe and picking the nearest tree. Aiming carefully he swung it.  
  
"NO!!!!!!!" Yelled Legolas hitting Pippins arm to stop him.  
  
The axe flew backwards hitting the frying pan knocking the fish into the fire where it went up in a burst of flames and planted it self into a tree behind Gimli barely missing his head.  
  
Everyone froze un-moving for a minute in disbelief. Un-freezing Merry and Pippin growled. Their dinner was ruined.  
  
"Now- come on. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Said Legolas nervously backing away from the hobbits.  
  
"IF YOU LOVE TREES SO MUCH!!! WHY DON'T YOU-"  
  
*CRASH!*  
  
*BANG!*  
  
*POW!*  
  
*SWISH!*  
  
"-LIVE IN ONE?!!!!!!!" Cried Merry.  
  
Panting then silence.  
  
"Come on lets go. I want to be FAR away from him." Said Pippin picking up camp.  
  
"Do we just leave him there?" asked Sam looking at the unconscious Legolas who was tied to the tree with rope sporting huge lumps on his head made by a frying pan.  
  
"Come Sam. Don't worry about it," said Frodo grabbing his arm leading him away.  
  
Hour's later-  
  
"Hello? You guys? This isn't funny! I want down! Hello?!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N: I LIKE LEGOLAS!!! No I don't have anything against Legolas. I actually think he's cute but I'll always be a Frodo Lover! *Smile* I'm just having fun with the characters and Legolas is the easiest to pick on.  
  
STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE SIZE!!! It was meant to be a One Shot Short Funny. Then I got asked for more. So I wrote another Short One Shot Funny. Then I got asked for more. So I wrote this. If you CHECK the summary it says (ksha2222's Short Funny Reads). It's meant to be short so people can read it easily. Its mean also to be funny so people will like it. So stop writing complaints that are bigger then my fanfic.  
  
PLEASE R/R! AND DON'T FLAME!!)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the People, Places, and, Things. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
Love:  
  
Ksha2222  
  
(((I've sold myself to Frodo's Harem)))  
  
Frodo's Harem Form:  
  
http://www.khazaddum.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=406&perpage=20&pa genumber=149  
  
(P.S. I'm writing the first chapter to my first real LOTR fanfic! Please look out for it! Title: Hope Of Snow Falling. It's a Frodo romance!) 


	4. Part Four: Merry Christmas! 1of3

Part Four: Merry Christmas! (1of? parts)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey Guys!"  
  
"Legolas!!!" cried six other voices.  
  
"How did you get free?" asked Merry surprised.  
  
"I learned much from my squirrel friends in the trees." Said Legolas smiling.  
  
"You chewed your way through the ropes?" asked Frodo unbelievingly.  
  
"Sure did! And guess what I found?!" questioned Legolas.  
  
"What? A life and personality?" asked Pippin dryly.  
  
"No silly. This!" said Legolas pulling out the item he found.  
  
"What is it?" asked Aragron looking at the odd thing.  
  
"I don't know but there's people inside watching!" said Legolas.  
  
Legolas smiled at his find. He flashed his pearly teeth in a Cheshire cat grin and posed yet again. Flexing his muscles and puffing out his chest. He did a couple of flips and stunts.  
  
Aragron pushed Legolas aside to see. He was so intent on studying the strange item he didn't notice that Legolas had been pushed off the cliff they where standing near. Not that he really would have cared.  
  
"He's Right! There are people watching through it!" said Aragron. The group gathered around to see.  
  
"Wow" said Pippin and Merry.  
  
"What do they want?" asked Gimli nervously.  
  
"I don't know," said Aragron staring at the Digital Camcorder. Suddenly a piece of paper floated down at Frodo's feet.  
  
"Hey guys look at this!" said Frodo waving the paper around and accidentally hitting Legolas who had just finished climbing back up the cliff back down.  
  
"What dos it say?" asked Sam.  
  
"It say's 'MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THE READERS! AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!' read Frodo. "That's weird," added Frodo looking at the paper.  
  
"What's Christmas?" asked the dirty and bruised Legolas who just had climbed his way back up- again.  
  
"I don't know, that's all the paper says," said Frodo. Aragron looked thoughtful.  
  
"Check the over side" said Aragron. Frodo flipped over the paper.  
  
"There's more!" said Frodo.  
  
"Well read it!" cried Merry impatiently.  
  
"I Love ksha2222" read Frodo. Suddenly he was glomped by me!  
  
"I LOVE YOU TO FRODO!!!" I cried happily squeezing him tight.  
  
"Acck! Cant breath! Help!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC next time.  
  
(A/N: Don't get mad but I put myself in for a while. Please don't complain*PuppyEyes* I'm going to teach the crew from LOTR what Christmas is! It's my Christmas gift to myself and I wont be in it for long maybe four chapters at the very most. I'll see how it gos^^Love ya!)  
  
PLEASE R/R! AND DON'T FLAME!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the People, Places, and, Things. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
Love:  
  
Ksha2222  
  
(((I've sold my self to Frodo's Harem)))  
  
Frodo's Harem Form:  
  
http://www.khazaddum.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=406&perpage=20&pa genumber=149  
  
(P.S. I'm writing the first chapter to my first real LOTR fanfic! Please look out for it! Title: Hope Of Snow Falling. It's a Frodo romance!) 


	5. Part Four: Merry Christmas! 2of3

Part Four: Merry Christmas! (2of? parts)  
  
  
  
  
  
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!!" The fellowship cried all at once.  
  
"Who? Me?" I asked pointing at myself.  
  
"No. The other weirdly dressed psychotic girl clinging to the Ring Bearer." Replied Merry sarcastically.  
  
"I'm ksha2222. You think I'm psychotic?" I asked smiling broadly.  
  
"Could you please let Frodo go?" asked Aragron politely.  
  
"Oh! Yah." Said ksha2222 letting a dazed Frodo go.  
  
"Why are you here?" asked Pippin.  
  
"To answer your questions!" I answered helpfully.  
  
"Why are you so short?" asked Legolas goggling at me. Giving an irritated sighed and I kneed him down south. I Earned looks of approval and winces from the group.  
  
"No. I've come to explain what Christmas is!" said ksha2222 pulling out a snow globe.  
  
"What's that?" asked Gimli distrustfully eyeing the globe.  
  
"Look inside." I told them. They all crowded around and looked.  
  
"Hey! There are people in it! Like the thing Legolas found!" said Frodo surprised.  
  
"What are they doing with those bright colored boxes?" asked Pippin.  
  
"They're giving each other gifts wrapped in colorful wrapping paper. Christmas it a time for giving and family." Ksha2222 explained.  
  
"It sounds like a good holiday." Said Aragron looking thoughtful.  
  
"Wow! Your smart! Maybe you can tell me why I keep getting beaten up?" asked Legolas pouting.  
  
WACK!  
  
Legolas went down for the count with one hit to the head with my snow globe.  
  
"Is Christmas for hurting Legolas?" asked Sam looking at Legolas's limp body.  
  
"I guess you can say that. Christmas is meant to be a time of fun and cheer- and everyone knows hurting Legolas is fun! And it cheers you up!" Said ksha2222 pushing back her brown with neon blue dyed hair from her eyes grinning.  
  
Everyone nodded.  
  
"Thank you ksha2222. You have been helpful! Is there anything you would like?" asked Aragron.  
  
"Well yah- Could I stay for a few chapters?" I asked blushing.  
  
"Chapters?" said a puzzled Pippin scratching his head.  
  
"I don't know-" said Aragron turning to look at Frodo. Everyone turned to look at Frodo.  
  
"WHAT?!! Why are you all looking at me for?" asked Frodo.  
  
"Well- you *are* the Ring Bearer and the Ring Bearer always decides." Answered Aragron. Frodo looked about to say no but he stopped.  
  
"Please?" begged ksha2222 giving him puppy eyes. Frodo sighed.  
  
"Sure-" said Frodo. I squealed and glomped onto his arm.  
  
"ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou" Cried ksha2222. Frodo knew he was going to probably regret this.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC next time.  
  
PLEASE R/R! AND DON'T FLAME!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the People, Places, and, Things. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
Love:  
  
Ksha2222  
  
(((I've sold my self to Frodo's Harem)))  
  
Frodo's Harem Form:  
  
http://www.khazaddum.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=406&perpage=20&pa genumber=149  
  
(P.S. I'm writing the first chapter to my first real LOTR fanfic! Please look out for it! Title: Hope Of Snow Falling. It's a Frodo romance!) 


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